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A first-grade teacher, Ms. Jones [Age 28] was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Johnny, what is your problem?"
The little boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms. Jones had enough. She took little boy Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms. Jones he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms. Jones and tells her, "I think the boy can go to the third-grade."
Ms. Jones says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and the little boy both agree.
Ms. Jones: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
After a moment, he answered "Legs."
Ms. Jones: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Ms. Jones: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut"
Ms. Jones: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Johnny was taking charge, he answered: "Bubblegum"
Ms. Jones: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Johnny said: "Shake hands"
Ms. Jones: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Johnny said, "Okay"
Ms. Jones: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do"
Johnny: "Tent"
Ms. Jones: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first"
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka peg.
Johnny: "Wedding Ring"
Ms. Jones: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Johnny: "Nose"
Ms. Jones: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Johnny: "Arrow"
Ms. Jones: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?"
Johnny: "Firetruck"
Ms. Jones: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and if you don't get it you have to use your hand."
Johnny: "Fork"
Ms. Jones: "What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?"
Johnny: "SURNAME"
Ms. Jones: "What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?"
Johnny: "HEART"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this boy to College, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
The little boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"
Ms. Jones had enough. She took little boy Johnny to the principal's office. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms. Jones he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Johnny was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Johnny: "9"
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Johnny: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms. Jones and tells her, "I think the boy can go to the third-grade."
Ms. Jones says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and the little boy both agree.
Ms. Jones: "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
After a moment, he answered "Legs."
Ms. Jones: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Johnny: "Pockets."
Ms. Jones: "What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Johnny: "Coconut"
Ms. Jones: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Johnny was taking charge, he answered: "Bubblegum"
Ms. Jones: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Johnny said: "Shake hands"
Ms. Jones: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Johnny said, "Okay"
Ms. Jones: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do"
Johnny: "Tent"
Ms. Jones: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first"
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Vodka peg.
Johnny: "Wedding Ring"
Ms. Jones: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Johnny: "Nose"
Ms. Jones: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Johnny: "Arrow"
Ms. Jones: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of heat and excitement?"
Johnny: "Firetruck"
Ms. Jones: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' and if you don't get it you have to use your hand."
Johnny: "Fork"
Ms. Jones: "What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?"
Johnny: "SURNAME"
Ms. Jones: "What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love?"
Johnny: "HEART"
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this boy to College, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"
